.a peek inside the thoughts of a stay at home mom....

a peek inside my thoughts on motherhood, life, love, and anything I decide to talk about!

Sunday, February 19, 2012

My hubby's away. :o(

Wow...where has the time gone???  I've been gone for a while so there's a lot I need to share. Don't worry, I'm not going to go on about EVERYTHING that has happened in the last year. However, I will share  my most recent  life event.

First of all, let me just say that I have missed my little blog. It is a nice release for me and something I can call my own. A place where I can ramble on and get all of the noise out of my head. So...hopefully I can keep it up this time.

As the title of this post suggests, my hubby has been gone the whole month of February. He comes back on the 26th. He has been going to school in Ohio, that his work put him through which is so exciting... and he is excelling!!  I am so proud of him. He has accomplished so much in such a short amount of time. Great opportunities are coming his way! I can't help but be a little selfish though. :o)

This is the longest we have been apart, and we have been together for 7 years in July (Married for 6 in may) . I have had a taste of what being a single mom is like for the past 3 weeks and let me just tell you... KUDOS to all you single moms out there! I am a stay at home mom so I can't imagine what it's like to throw a full time job (outside the home that is ) on top of everything else.  You are strong brave women...and it takes a lot to do what you do!

 I miss Mike terribly. It's hard not to wake up next to him in the morning. I have actually started staying up really late because I can't bare the thought of crawling into an empty bed and then trying to ignore every little noise I hear and just go to sleep. I sleep in one of his shirts every night. My son and I have little count downs all over the house to remind us of how many days we have left until he is home for good! I miss his laugh. I miss his jokes. I miss the way he looks at me from across the room like I am the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. I miss hearing him and the kids giggle together.  I even miss making his lunch for work and doing his laundry. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!! I certainly can't. LOL!  He is my other half...and without him here I just don't  feel whole.

The kids are doing really great. My son, Nathan, has a hard time when it's time to go to bed though. That's usually when he misses daddy the most, but he is a strong little boy and is doing really well otherwise.  Madeline, thankfully, is too young to really know what is going on. In fact.... every time I talk to or about Daddy, she now insists on calling him "MIKE" I'm sure it's because she hears me on the phone with him, but now it has turned into a nasty habit I have to break my 2 year old of. 

Thankfully, Mike was able to come home for the weekend.  It was great having him home for a little bit... but so sad to watch him leave this morning. Luckily, we do get to see Mike every day. We are using our Kinect and XBOX 360 to video chat every night at 7:30.  That way we all get to see each other instead of just being a voice on the telephone.  That's how the 4 of us have made it through these past three weeks.

 I keep telling myself that we have made it through 3 weeks...what's one more, right? If only it were that easy. I am just going to try the keep all of us busy so Sunday will be here before we know it!

My 5 year old son, Nathan is the sweetest little guy ever. He saw me crying when Mike left.... I try really hard not the let the kids see me cry. If they do catch me, I just let them know that I'm a little sad but it's OK and I'll be fine. Nathan kept telling me not to cry. I told him that it is OK to cry if you are sad and sometimes getting it out makes you feel a little better. So, what did this amazing little creature do???  He got his construction paper, pencil, and scissors and began to make a surprise for his tearful mommy.

He came up to me and presented me with a paper cut out of "daddy" He said, "here mommy, I made daddy for you. So now you won't miss him so much!" Well, I squeezed that little boy so hard and I couldn't hold back the tears. I smothered him with kisses and thanked him so much. We have been at odds with each other while his daddy has been away. He's been acting out, and he doesn't really understand why daddy has to be gone for so long. So, we have had our share of ups and downs and it was really making me wonder if I was even doing a good job as a mother. I know there were times that I felt like he didn't like me,  and he felt like I didn't like him I'm sure. However, with that simple, unbelievably sweet gesture all of that washed away. Mike and I have raised such a sensitive, thoughtful, loving boy. I couldn't be happier, or more proud! I told him that I am going to take that everywhere with me so daddy is always with us until he comes home and can physically be with all of us.

Even though this month has been tough, I think it has been good for our relationship. You never want to admit that you take your partner for granted...however, this is a realization that we both had to come to. The absence has made us really think about what we have and appreciate it. I am learning to let go of the little things (which if you know me...you know this is really hard for me to do) and just live and love in the moment. I appreciate my husband more and I know he appreciates me more.

One week from Sunday he will be home for good! I love him so much and I just want him to know how proud of him I am. He is such a great husband and father. The kids and I are so lucky to have him in our life!

When I'm not in such a fog I will post another entry with a little less sadness.  :o)

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