Time to catch up!

Let me start by saying that I am so sorry it has taken me forever to get a new blog up! I already have some pretty loyal readers that have been asking why I haven't posted in awhile. :o) So, this post will get you all up to speed on what's been going on since I last posted.

Well, on November 19th ( about 4 days after I posted last), my nephew, Everett  James was born at 10:30am! 8 lbs 7 oz. 20.5 inches. 10 fingers, 10 toes, and absolutely PERFECT! For those of you that have been reading my blog (or even those who haven't) I posted an entry titled : Angel babies in heaven...and here on earth.  This was talking about my nephew, Aaron (who turned 2 on Dec 2nd) that became an angel 8 hours after he was born, and the anticipation of the arrival of Everett James. You can refer to that to get up to speed on Aaron's condition.  November 19th was a very emotional day not only because a new little boy was born into the family, but because he made it into this world so safely, breathing fine, perfectly healthy all with the help of his Guardian angel big brother, Aaron!

I will only speak for myself when I say this (but perhaps others have felt this way too) , but when I was pregnant with my son (who is now 4) I took for granted that he would be healthy when he was born. Why shouldn't I automatically assume that there would be no complications? Every doctor visit went great, ultrasounds all checked out. Thankfully, everything was fine when he was born. However, what I came to realize though is that in life you can never just assume ANYTHING.  My sister's first child was fine...perfectly healthy and we just assumed that the second pregnancy would go the same way.  Then, Aaron brought around a new way of thinking. To expect the unexpected. I'm not saying that everyone who is pregnant should be a frightened mess in worry while they await their new arrival. It should be a happy time no doubt. All I'm saying is... when this happened to our family, it really made us all appreciate life. I think in life we all go through the motions at times and just expect the things that are supposed to happen (like pregnancy, childbirth, etc) to just all go so smoothly and it usually does. Then, there are a special set of circumstances that really make you step back and reevaluate life. Well, that's just me anyway.


So, needless to say the day Everett was born we were also thinking of Aaron. We were all so overjoyed and relieved to know that our new little miracle was perfectly healthy, and that the only place he would be going would be home with his parents and big sister. Even though it was a joyous time, it was also a very hard and confusing time as well. When I got the call from my mom that Everett arrived safely, I felt relief as I mentioned but also a sense of loss all over again. I thought of Aaron and it felt like the breath had been taken out of my lungs. Almost like I found out he passed away all over again. In the midst of my hard silent cry, I felt a warmth surround me. It was comforting and calm. I calmed down  and got myself together. Then, I thanked Aaron. I thanked god. I thanked anyone "upstairs" that helped aid in Everett arriving safely. All throughout the day I was mixed with excitement, joy, and then sadness and loss. Every time I would get that little twinge of heartache I would feel that presence again. Reassuring me that Aaron was ok and that EVERYTHING was ok. I would like to think that it was Aaron with me... or perhaps someone else. Whether it sounds crazy or not, it comforts me to know that a higher power was with me that day, not letting me be consumed with the loss of Aaron but helped me to remember him and yet be so so happy and elated about my new nephew being born!

When I saw Everett for the first time it was so wonderful. I thought I would be a complete and utter mess, but surprisingly I kept it together. I was just overtaken by his beautiful little face, his wrinkly hands and feet. Just completely in awe of this little miracle God blessed this family with. I haven't seen him as much as I would like to since he's been born. Unfortunately, life and child illness(the flu) and such as gotten in the way. However, I talk to my sister nearly everyday and happy to report that he is still doing well. Getting very big, nursing well, SLEEPING well! LOL! His big sister Ava has had a time trying to get adjusted to him but all in all she is a good big sister that loves her brother very very much!  I now present (about 6 weeks late...) Everett James!

 

Since his birth here is what has happened. About a week before Christmas (  I think it was around Dec 16th or so) My poor babies came down with the terrible intestinal flu that has gone around. Nathan was the first one to catch it on a Thursday. He started with the poops... then the vomit. Oh boy!  Friday night around 11:30 pm  my little girl was up next. She had a puking marathon every half hour to hour from 11:30 pm to 2 am.  She seemed to bounce back pretty quickly, however, Nathan is a different story. It just wanted to hang on to him for some reason. He was sick for about a week luckily we was feeling much better by Christmas. I even called the doctor a few times and asked that now that the puking had stopped and he just had diarrhea every now and then (about once every other day) would he be ok to see the rest of our family on Christmas Eve and Day? I was informed that as long as he has no fever, he is holding food down, and for the most part is acting like himself again that it would be ok. Even with the pooping he was having here or there. Just be sure to wash our hands well and not share food etc. etc.  So, we saw our family Christmas eve and day and had such a wonderful time! That Monday I found out that almost everyone we had come in contact with on those days is now sick!!! That is crazy...I feel so bad and I didn't think Nathan would still be that contagious. I went by what the doctor said and thought everyone would be ok. So, now our plans for New Years are shot because all of our babysitters (family members) are sick and I just want to air on the side of caution and not have anyone else around them too much at least for the rest of this week just to be sure they are ok and not going to get anyone else sick. 

This Christmas we pretty special though (despite the illness everyone contracted later on) because it was my daughter, Madeline's FIRST Christmas! Also, this was the first year that Nathan really figured the whole Santa thing out and was anticipating his arrival greatly! We got a new tree this year, Nathan helped pick out the decorations, we baked cookies for Santa. He had me write him a letter (in his own words) and set everything up for him the night before (including reindeer food) This was also the first time both of the kids visited Santa. Nathan would always scream at the sight of him in the mall in years past... but maybe because he was a big brother now, things were different. He was very excited and so willing to show Maddie that Santa was a nice guy and just like a grandpa! However,  Madeline had a different opinion of Santa. While we were waiting to get their picture taken, Nathan was chatting it up with Santa while Maddie was giving him the "evil eye" safely in Daddy's arms. Then, it was time to sit on the Fat Man's lap. Oh boy, that did not go well. Nathan did great! Maddie...well, see for yourself: 

 

This is the greatest picture ever! We have it in such a cute frame too. Then, you get close and see the horror! It always makes me smile!  Despite Madeline not being to fond of Santa, he treated her well on Christmas. :o) Maddie had such a good time on her first Christmas. She did get a bit overwhelmed though because of everything going on but it was still a great time for everyone.  Nathan enjoyed himself too of course! Here are some pictures of our Holiday:

Nathan at Grandma Paula's house on Christmas Eve

Madeline getting great to open presents at Grandma's house on Xmas Eve!

Our happy little family on Xmas Eve!

Me and my love

The letter Nathan had me write to santa

The milk, cookies, and reindeer food Nathan set out for Santa

What Santa left behind

On Christmas morning before the kids woke up

My babies posing with their pillow pets

Patiently waiting to tear into those gifts!

excitement!

Besides ringing in the New Year on Friday, we are anxiously waiting my daughters 1st birthday on Jan 5th! Then, on Jan 15th my husband turns 30! We have a busy busy couple weeks ahead but they are going to be amazing. Now that hopefully the illness is out of the way we can just have a great time! :o) I will post on these events I'm sure, and I will start keeping more regular posts too!

How did everyone's Christmas go? I would love to hear from you. Or, just anything in general that has been going on since I've been on away. What are everyone's plans for the New Year? Resolutions??  I hope everyone has a fun and very SAFE New Year!!!

Angel babies in heaven... and here on earth!

Not quite sure how to start this entry today, so I'm just going to dive right in. My sister is a couple of weeks away from her due date (hopefully baby will come sooner!). She is pregnant with her 3rd child. It's a boy, and his name is Everett James. We are all so excited and anticipating his arrival greatly! In fact, Sam, my sister....is over 37 weeks along and she is already dilated to 2 cm!! She has been having contractions that are starting to get more uncomfortable but just not consistent yet. So, she is getting closer and I hope that for her sake (because she feels like poop) that Everett will decide to make his debut soon!
With every baby that comes into this family...we are all overjoyed, elated, thrilled beyond words.

My sister and I are super close. Well, when we were growing up we were always at each others throats, but hey, that's what siblings do right? :o) It's funny because as we got older, and Sam moved out of the house... we became closer than ever before. We were then and are now...BEST FRIENDS!  When she got pregnant with her daughter Ava, I was beyond thrilled to have a niece! Then, 3 months after she told me she was expecting... I found out I was going to have a baby too! (my son Nathan)  We vowed that our children will grow up being as close as siblings. I am happy to report that they have!  Even though Ava is not my biological child...I am so close with her I feel like sometimes I birthed her myself. I know my sister feels the same way about my children too. My sister and I live about an hour away from each other...but we make it a point to see each other as much as we can. (It hasn't been as much as I would like to lately, but money is tight these days for both of us) If we can't see one another...then we talk on the phone. Our kids talk on the phone to each other. This keeps their bond strong and they always miss the other one.  It is such a beautiful thing. Family is so important... and we have our parents to thank for that. They taught us that family is everything...and without it we have NOTHING.


When my sister found out she was pregnant for the second time... I was beyond excited. This time she was pregnant with a little boy named Aaron. Sam and Chuck (my brother-in-law) found out around 20 weeks that Aaron's heart had not developed properly. With extensive testing done, they found out that pretty much only half of his heart had developed. So, there was a plan in place...that once he was born  (a few days later really) the doctors would start one of many surgeries to come to get the little man's heart in working order. Well, when Aaron was born... the doctors found that there was more wrong with him then what they originally thought. Aaron could not be stabelized and he passed away 8 hours later.  On Dec 2nd 2010... my nephew would have been 2 years old. I don't like to say WOULD HAVE BEEN, because even though he is not on this earth with us today...he is always with us in spirit. So, let me correct myself. On Dec 2nd, 2010 my nephew, Aaron WILL be 2 years old.  I love him so much and I (along with everyone else of course) wish we could have had a chance to get to know him. When I found out that he passed away... I felt like the air was taken right out of my lungs. I cried for him, my sister, and brother in law.    However, my sister and her husband are very very strong people. They have found the courage to move forward and try again to have another baby. So that brings us to today. We are all anxiously awaiting the arrival of Everett James!

We have the same hope for Everett and my daughter Madeline... that they will grow up like siblings...and be so close throughout their lives. All of the children really...and I'm pretty sure we have instilled those values in them already...so we know they will be close for life.  As I think about the impending arrival of Everett, my mind always goes back to Aaron. I think about him often ( in general) and try to picture how he would have been at 2. What would he look like? What would his little voice sound like? What kind of trouble would he get into? Would he drive his sister crazy? LOL! Would Aaron and Madeline (my 9 month old) be really close too? How would everyone play together?  It's crazy to say, but sometimes I feel him with me. Maybe he is ... maybe he isn't. Maybe it's just what I would like to think. That's ok. It comforts me to think that way. I also believe that he is Everett's guardian angel helping him to make it into this world safely.  Who knows... without Aaron, we may not have Everett.

I love to write...and I really love to write poetry. So, as a tribute to Aaron, I have written a poem that I would like to share with you all before I sign off:

 Guardian Aaron

Even though your body cannot be with us today

I know your spirit is here in every way.

It's the sun, the rain, a smell in the air.

The way the wind blows through your mother's hair.

A touch, a smile, a warm embrace.

It's in the tears upon our face.

Not tears only of sadness, but also joy,

because with help from you we are welcoming another little boy.

You are helping to bring him into this world from above,

With a big brother's guidance and love.

You've helped your mother and father stay brave and strong,

and reassured them that it's ok to move on.

There is a favor however, I must ask.

It's big but a fairly simple task.

Please continue to guide this baby into your parents arms,

with intense love and safe from harm.

Please give us a glimpse every now and then,

of the boy you were

and the man you should have been.

As we all fall in love with Everett James

Just know that in our hearts Aaron McKray always remains.

Your Auntie loves you Aaron and you will NEVER be forgotten! ♥