What I want for my kids.

A lot of parents say that they want better for their kids than what they had.  For me, this statement is not true. I'm not saying my life is perfect. Or that my childhood was one of fairy tales. I didn't have lavish things, and I still don't. Some things happened in my life that weren't so great either. Some of the negative stuff that happened in my life (like parents getting divorced for example) I don't think I would have changed if I could, because those events helped to make me the person I am today.  My kids actually already have more than I had early on in life. They have two parents that are together and have such a deep love for one another. My children also have ONE home they can call their own and not have to go to another one every couple of days. That's pretty good so far! :o)

My parents are divorced and worked hard to provide for us. The things my parents "gave us" are what my husband and I are already giving our children. My parents taught me the importance of working hard for everything you have. They taught me to be proud of my accomplishments and the little bit that I have worked hard for. I was taught that you don't have to have all the newest "things" to be happy.  My mother in particular, taught my sister and I to love ourselves, and how to be happy with who we are.  We have a pretty good sense of self and strong family values. As a child, I always knew I was loved and my parents always made it a point to tell me and show it. I never ever questioned their love for me and my sister.  I was taught respect, patience, and how to have an open mind. I've been taught how to take care of myself, and yet I always know I can go to either parent if I need them to lend an ear.

I want my children to have a strong sense of self. I want them to be proud of who they are and what they have done in their lives. I want them to be strong, independent individuals. I want them to be generous, kind, loving and have a good heart.  I want them to be able to have the tools to make good decisions, and if they don't...I want them to have the strength and knowledge to work through them and move past it with dignity and grace.  This and so much more.

My husband and I are already working hard to instill these values in our children, and my son is already picking them up. He is such an amazingly bright little boy, who already has such a HUGE heart.   My daughter is still pretty little, but she is just as amazing. I can't wait to see the type of person she turns out to be.
There are times when I don't feel like I am being the best mommy.  Then I see my daughter smile at me, and my son comes up and give me a hug and tells me how much he loves me. I think to myself,  "I must be doing something right to be showered with so much love from them"

Life is full of twist and turns, ups and downs. It is up to the parents to give their children the right "life tools" and confidence to get them through the roller coaster of life. I know my parents sure have given that to me.  I pray I succeed in passing those tools down to my children . Those are the things I want for my kids...

Pass the trans fats please!

Everywhere I look I see ads telling you to eat only organic foods ONLY, no high fructose corn syrup, no trans fats,No Soda, Don't even drink JUICE, No processed foods EVER!! You see diet ads for Nutrisystem, Jenny Criag, Weight Watchers ALL THE TIME!  Well, I think this all needs to STOP or die down a bit because it is FREAKING PEOPLE OUT! I can really only speak for myself but it was helping to make me more neurotic than I already tend to be. Now, I'm not blaming the world for all of my neurosis so I don't want people to think that, but this doesn't exactly help.  :o)

While it's not good to eat Cheetos like they are going out of style, or wash it all down with a big bucket of sugary Koolaid. I think this is all getting a little ridiculous now. What happened to the days when I was growing up (which I know, wasn't all that long ago) , or my parents for that matter? I remember eating good foods of course, but I also remember eating hot pockets and drinking a Pepsi.  (not all the time of course)  Money was tight then too and we had Hamburger Helper ,canned fruits and veggies in our cupboards which we are now supposed to never ever feed our children in this day and age.  I turned out just fine! I'm healthy.  I stay active. I've never have had  HUGE weight issues. ( besides these pesky 30 lbs I can't seem to shake since becoming a mommy)

Whatever happened to MODERATION?  I even talked to my kids pediatrician about this. I told her that when it comes to feeding my kids, I found myself freaking out when I would open up a can of vegetables... or fruit. I almost felt like I was being a bad mom. Let's face it, times are tough and canned veggies and fruits go a long way. Now don't get me wrong, I do have fresh fruits and vegetables in my house too, but canned goods help to supplement.

Anyway, getting back to the doctor...when I explained how I was freaking out about canned foods but informed her that I rinse the canning liquid off first before I cook it, she looked at me and said, "well, you turned out ok didn't you?" Shocked, I smiled and said, " I sure did!"  She told me that she agrees too that people are freaking out more than they should these days and she doesn't see the harm in eating canned goods. I told her how when I was a kid my mom made Koolaid with suagr without a second thought and gave it to us. The doc laughed and said everything in moderation is ok in her eyes and we shouldn't be so uptight. THIS IS COMING FROM A DOCTOR!  :o) Boy, did that make me feel better. Knowing I am not a terrible mother for giving my children these foods that I GREW UP ON.  I make sure they eat their fruits and veggies everyday and knowing how I give it to them is ok. (frozen, fresh, canned I mean)

Chips and sweets are treats of course, but what I'm getting at is that society is now looking at canned foods in that same category as junk. I even once read that canned fruit (even in light syrup or juice) is just like giving your kid a candy bar.  So naturally, when I read that (before the talk with the doctor) I freaked out and wanted to throw it all away and just buy all fresh stuff. While I would love to do that, our budget just doesn't allow for it. We do what we can and make sure we our doing our best to feed our kids a balanced diet even if some of it does come from cans.

Now...what is wrong with JUICE? I've also seen that we shouldn't even drink JUICE... not even 100% and the only thing we should have is water or maybe SOME milk! WHAT!?!?!?!?!?! I drank juice as a kid.  My son drinks juice (but I do water it down). I monitor what he drinks and eats and how much he has. I cut him off when I feel he has had enough.  I know all of this "Health Craze" (for lack of a better term) that is going on is because America is considered an "Obese Country". Or, I have read something to that effect. So now, that means on every channel you will see these commercials or flip the channel and see the biggest loser or some other weight loss show to further pound it in our brains to never ever think about a soda or processed food again. And stop ever contemplating going into a McDonalds for the rest of your life!

You know what is making our country fat? Is it the McDonalds or Starbucks on every corner? Is it the newest chip or cracker out on the market? Is it the high fructose corn syrup or trans fats? NO...It's US! I mean people as a whole.  It's lack of self control, lack of moderation,and inactivity. No one is forcing you to pull up through the drive through and order a Quarter pounder with cheese. No one is holding a gun to your head and telling you to drink soda, eat chips and never exercise. If these things are the case, then the marketing companies are really doing their job! Wow... for fast food chains, and snacky food commercials to be blamed for our country's weight and laziness is crazy!

It is the parents jobs to teach children healthy eating, self control, and MODERATION!  I think that moderation is the key. It is ok to indulge on the "wrong" foods that you enjoy every once in a while, but not to try to sustain life on them. It's not so cut and dry or black and white. I feel teaching moderation is better because it teaches balance. Also, it's not everyone elses fault if we are not teaching our children to be active, or being active ourselves. It's not Mcdonalds fault if we are sitting in front of our TV eating their product and gaining weight by the day. Not only should WE be taking responsibility for what our families are eating, but we also need to be accountable for how active we are! Teach your kids (and yourself) to not sit in front of a tv all day. Go outside. Get some fresh air. Take a walk. Go to the park. That's what my kids like to do. I'm sure I am just rambling now, but hopefully you all get the gist. I just wish we (America) could just lighten up a little.  Stop being so darn stressed and obsessive all the time. I am not bashing anyone who has a 100% clean lifestyle, or anyone who is vegan,  or doesn't believe in eating any processed food or anything like that. I am simply pointing out what I see as far as ads and stuff go that are trying to put the fear of god into that parents that feed their family like I do. By no means do I feed my family a buffet of chips and candy for our meals. However, I don't see the harm in having to use canned veggies, fruits, drinking juice etc. etc.  I know I am doing the best I can for my children and they are healthy, active individuals who are flourishing!

So with that I say...pass the trans fats and I'd like to wash it down with some ice cold high fructose corn syrup if you don't mind!  :o)

Angel babies in heaven... and here on earth!

Not quite sure how to start this entry today, so I'm just going to dive right in. My sister is a couple of weeks away from her due date (hopefully baby will come sooner!). She is pregnant with her 3rd child. It's a boy, and his name is Everett James. We are all so excited and anticipating his arrival greatly! In fact, Sam, my sister....is over 37 weeks along and she is already dilated to 2 cm!! She has been having contractions that are starting to get more uncomfortable but just not consistent yet. So, she is getting closer and I hope that for her sake (because she feels like poop) that Everett will decide to make his debut soon!
With every baby that comes into this family...we are all overjoyed, elated, thrilled beyond words.

My sister and I are super close. Well, when we were growing up we were always at each others throats, but hey, that's what siblings do right? :o) It's funny because as we got older, and Sam moved out of the house... we became closer than ever before. We were then and are now...BEST FRIENDS!  When she got pregnant with her daughter Ava, I was beyond thrilled to have a niece! Then, 3 months after she told me she was expecting... I found out I was going to have a baby too! (my son Nathan)  We vowed that our children will grow up being as close as siblings. I am happy to report that they have!  Even though Ava is not my biological child...I am so close with her I feel like sometimes I birthed her myself. I know my sister feels the same way about my children too. My sister and I live about an hour away from each other...but we make it a point to see each other as much as we can. (It hasn't been as much as I would like to lately, but money is tight these days for both of us) If we can't see one another...then we talk on the phone. Our kids talk on the phone to each other. This keeps their bond strong and they always miss the other one.  It is such a beautiful thing. Family is so important... and we have our parents to thank for that. They taught us that family is everything...and without it we have NOTHING.


When my sister found out she was pregnant for the second time... I was beyond excited. This time she was pregnant with a little boy named Aaron. Sam and Chuck (my brother-in-law) found out around 20 weeks that Aaron's heart had not developed properly. With extensive testing done, they found out that pretty much only half of his heart had developed. So, there was a plan in place...that once he was born  (a few days later really) the doctors would start one of many surgeries to come to get the little man's heart in working order. Well, when Aaron was born... the doctors found that there was more wrong with him then what they originally thought. Aaron could not be stabelized and he passed away 8 hours later.  On Dec 2nd 2010... my nephew would have been 2 years old. I don't like to say WOULD HAVE BEEN, because even though he is not on this earth with us today...he is always with us in spirit. So, let me correct myself. On Dec 2nd, 2010 my nephew, Aaron WILL be 2 years old.  I love him so much and I (along with everyone else of course) wish we could have had a chance to get to know him. When I found out that he passed away... I felt like the air was taken right out of my lungs. I cried for him, my sister, and brother in law.    However, my sister and her husband are very very strong people. They have found the courage to move forward and try again to have another baby. So that brings us to today. We are all anxiously awaiting the arrival of Everett James!

We have the same hope for Everett and my daughter Madeline... that they will grow up like siblings...and be so close throughout their lives. All of the children really...and I'm pretty sure we have instilled those values in them already...so we know they will be close for life.  As I think about the impending arrival of Everett, my mind always goes back to Aaron. I think about him often ( in general) and try to picture how he would have been at 2. What would he look like? What would his little voice sound like? What kind of trouble would he get into? Would he drive his sister crazy? LOL! Would Aaron and Madeline (my 9 month old) be really close too? How would everyone play together?  It's crazy to say, but sometimes I feel him with me. Maybe he is ... maybe he isn't. Maybe it's just what I would like to think. That's ok. It comforts me to think that way. I also believe that he is Everett's guardian angel helping him to make it into this world safely.  Who knows... without Aaron, we may not have Everett.

I love to write...and I really love to write poetry. So, as a tribute to Aaron, I have written a poem that I would like to share with you all before I sign off:

 Guardian Aaron

Even though your body cannot be with us today

I know your spirit is here in every way.

It's the sun, the rain, a smell in the air.

The way the wind blows through your mother's hair.

A touch, a smile, a warm embrace.

It's in the tears upon our face.

Not tears only of sadness, but also joy,

because with help from you we are welcoming another little boy.

You are helping to bring him into this world from above,

With a big brother's guidance and love.

You've helped your mother and father stay brave and strong,

and reassured them that it's ok to move on.

There is a favor however, I must ask.

It's big but a fairly simple task.

Please continue to guide this baby into your parents arms,

with intense love and safe from harm.

Please give us a glimpse every now and then,

of the boy you were

and the man you should have been.

As we all fall in love with Everett James

Just know that in our hearts Aaron McKray always remains.

Your Auntie loves you Aaron and you will NEVER be forgotten! ♥

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Happy Halloween Everyone! Not sure how many people are actually reading this, but I just wanted to wish anyone who is reading a very happy and safe Halloween!

I love watching a the little trick or treaters in there adorable, some creepy, and some very creative costumes. My son, Nathan is very excited to trick or treat and to teach his sister how to do it. This is an exciting time for us to because it's my daughter, Madeline's, FIRST HALLOWEEN! My daughter is going to be a lady bug, and my son is going to be Super Why. For those of you who don't know who Super Why is...he a reading super hero on PBS.  It's so freakin cute:

This is a short post today. I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Halloween! I also wanted to leave you with this funny thought. As parents, we teach our children to not talk to strangers or of course...NEVER EVER accept candy from anyone you don't know. However, on Halloween we in a sense....encourage it! LOL! I think about that every once in a while and it just makes me laugh. Have Fun and be safe today!!

Brains! Give me Brains!

  Madeline, my 9 month old daughter, is a spunky bright eyed little girl. Always interested in life, and everything around her. She is so precious and absolutely beautiful! However, there is one thing I've noticed about her (and other babies alike). So....In the spirit of Halloween I thought I would bring up more of a silly/interesting observation. Sometimes I feel like my wonderful little girl may have gotten some kind of virus that turns once normal people full of life...into a crazed zombie willing to do anything for BRAINS!

 You have to witness it for yourself to really appreciate the humor in this. However, I will try my best to describe this hilarious sight. Ok...so my son, Nathan, will be minding his own business playing with his toys when all of a sudden here comes Maddie crawling over...then wobbling and yanking on her brother to aid in pulling herself up. All the while, mouth open, wide crazy eyes, drooling profusely....making grunts and groans. Destroying the city Nathan has just built with his mega blocks. Nathan tries his hardest to fight her off. He is successful in a few attempts. He gets his shirt free from her tiny clutches... and like a fearless leader, starts to rebuild his Megablock city. Only to be overtaken by this chubby little creature now overcome with the urge to cure her hunger.  At this point, Madeline continues to drag herself to standing. Once again yanking on Nathan's shirt, drooling...now clawing at his face. As she fully pulls herself up she takes her hands...grabs her brother's head and the I hear....:"Maddie, STOP BITING MY HEAD!"

If you could only see what I see. It is hysterical! Sometimes babies will bobble around and chew on everything in sight. Drool, grunt, groan and unsteadily pull themselves up using furniture or in Maddie's case... her brother. I really took a step back and looked at her actions especially when Nathan is on the floor playing with his toys...and all of a sudden Maddie will just descend upon him in zombie like fashion. 

Tell me though...does this look like the face of a zombie?

Random thoughts of a stay at home mom

I'm not quite sure how to start since this is my first time blogging. Normally, I think I'll just recount the days events (with two kids that can get pretty interesting at times) and bring up some random thoughts / issues that come to mind. Things that stay at home moms... or really all moms go through, think, feel, are ashamed of, proud of etc.   This is my first blog ever so please bare with me. So, here it goes....welcome to the "Adventures in Mommyhood"

One thing I would like to bring up is the self esteem of a stay at home mom. People like myself, and other moms that I have spoken to. I used to have a lot of confidence ... or superficial confidence perhaps? I had the time to do my hair and make up. I had the money to shop for new clothes and shoes ALL THE TIME!  I could go into a store and pick out a small or extra small shirt and a pair of size 2 pants.,..not try them on, purchase them, and be on my way knowing that the items I have just selected will do just fine and look AWESOME on me!  Well friends, when I entered the land of Mommyhood.... all of that "superficial confidence" is GONE! Now, it's comfy yoga pants, nice baggy shirt that I don't mind if baby puke gets on it, air dried crazy hair that will end up on the top of my head by days end... and a bare face without a stitch of makeup. Not to mention the 30 pounds I've lovingly collected along my 4 year journey in this beautiful land that is mommyhood! 

I say superficial confidence because along the way since becoming a mother, I realize that there are more important things in life then a size 2 waist... all the nicest clothes, make up etc. These things made me feel good but only on the outside. When you strip it all down and you are just bare naked, vulnerable you... you tend to do some soul searching and find the more important things in life... and the things that SHOULD give you all the confidence in the world.  Some people have the luxury of having it all... everything for yourself and your children. I am not bashing those women in any way. I am just speaking of my own experience and of other moms in my situation. When money is tight, and you have to decide between things you WANT for yourself, and things you NEED to get for your children/family, there's no argument. The babies come first! Mommy will have to wait. That doesn't mean that a mom doesn't DESERVE to treat herself every once in a while to a nice shade of lipstick, or a cute new top. When you don't have the means to "treat" yourself EVERYDAY to the things you once took for granted... they become more of a real TREAT...a reward if you will for all of your hard work and sacrifices that go along with the role of mommy. 

I am still working on trying to find my inner confidence in this new mommy body I have acquired. I still ask my husband everyday if he still thinks I'm pretty if I don't wear make up or straighten my hair all the time. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful husband who makes sure to tell me everyday how beautiful I am, and shower me with affection!  A lot of women have these insecurities because of a certain image women are supposed to uphold to. Celebrity women aren't doing us regular women any favors! For all of you moms that are back in your pre baby shape...my hat is off to you! You go girl! For all you women that are like me and have new mommy curves, and a little more cushion for the pushin' but haven't figured out how to own your new body yet....I'm right there with you.  The things I realize I need to be proud of is the fact that I grew two human beings safely inside my body. The fact that their little angel faces are here because they were created out of love between me and my husband. The fact that I get this great opportunity to stay home with my children and care for them myself and not have a babysitter. The fact that at least one parent (being me) is here to see their first anything and report back to daddy and share in such a wonderful moment.  My stretchmarks, love handles, extra weight  should not be seen in a negative light, but serve as reminders of how strong of a woman I am to have housed and birthed two such extraordinary children...badges of honor of the battle I survived (the battle that is pregnancy and childbirth). 

The title "Stay at home mom" needs to be announced with pride! Which leads me to my last thought of the day. I've had plenty of people ask me what I do for a living... and I always reply, "I'm a stay at home mom". The response I get is... "oh that's great that you don't have to work!" Well, sorry to say, and if I've opened a can of worms...so be it., BEING A STAY AT HOME MOM IS A FULL TIME JOB! I may not clock in or out, I may not get my two 15's and a 30 min break, I may not get a paycheck...but stay at home mommy's are on the job 24-7! No breaks, no sick days, no vacations! It is a job shaping and enriching the lives of innocent human beings. Blank canvases with no knowledge of the outside world. It is your duty to help guide them (and their fathers too of course!) and teach them how to be decent people that will do good and have a good heart.  Never ever say to someone... "Oh, I'm just a stay at home mom"  I admit I have caught myself saying this before... but not anymore! It is a great job to have and it is my honor to have that title!

In closing...I'm sorry if I have rambled... or maybe not made much sense at times. I'm sorry if I have offended anyone, but my thoughts are not meant to offend. They are just my opinions and thoughts on mother hood in general.  I would love to hear if any of you have any feedback or thoughts you would like to share.  As mommies we are all in this together. We are beautiful, strong, amazing creatures and we should all hold ourselves in the highest regard! I have much much more to say and share but that will have to be saved for another day. Mommyhood awaits! ♥