.a peek inside the thoughts of a stay at home mom....

a peek inside my thoughts on motherhood, life, love, and anything I decide to talk about!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Random thoughts of a stay at home mom

I'm not quite sure how to start since this is my first time blogging. Normally, I think I'll just recount the days events (with two kids that can get pretty interesting at times) and bring up some random thoughts / issues that come to mind. Things that stay at home moms... or really all moms go through, think, feel, are ashamed of, proud of etc.   This is my first blog ever so please bare with me. So, here it goes....welcome to the "Adventures in Mommyhood"

One thing I would like to bring up is the self esteem of a stay at home mom. People like myself, and other moms that I have spoken to. I used to have a lot of confidence ... or superficial confidence perhaps? I had the time to do my hair and make up. I had the money to shop for new clothes and shoes ALL THE TIME!  I could go into a store and pick out a small or extra small shirt and a pair of size 2 pants.,..not try them on, purchase them, and be on my way knowing that the items I have just selected will do just fine and look AWESOME on me!  Well friends, when I entered the land of Mommyhood.... all of that "superficial confidence" is GONE! Now, it's comfy yoga pants, nice baggy shirt that I don't mind if baby puke gets on it, air dried crazy hair that will end up on the top of my head by days end... and a bare face without a stitch of makeup. Not to mention the 30 pounds I've lovingly collected along my 4 year journey in this beautiful land that is mommyhood! 

I say superficial confidence because along the way since becoming a mother, I realize that there are more important things in life then a size 2 waist... all the nicest clothes, make up etc. These things made me feel good but only on the outside. When you strip it all down and you are just bare naked, vulnerable you... you tend to do some soul searching and find the more important things in life... and the things that SHOULD give you all the confidence in the world.  Some people have the luxury of having it all... everything for yourself and your children. I am not bashing those women in any way. I am just speaking of my own experience and of other moms in my situation. When money is tight, and you have to decide between things you WANT for yourself, and things you NEED to get for your children/family, there's no argument. The babies come first! Mommy will have to wait. That doesn't mean that a mom doesn't DESERVE to treat herself every once in a while to a nice shade of lipstick, or a cute new top. When you don't have the means to "treat" yourself EVERYDAY to the things you once took for granted... they become more of a real TREAT...a reward if you will for all of your hard work and sacrifices that go along with the role of mommy. 

I am still working on trying to find my inner confidence in this new mommy body I have acquired. I still ask my husband everyday if he still thinks I'm pretty if I don't wear make up or straighten my hair all the time. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful husband who makes sure to tell me everyday how beautiful I am, and shower me with affection!  A lot of women have these insecurities because of a certain image women are supposed to uphold to. Celebrity women aren't doing us regular women any favors! For all of you moms that are back in your pre baby shape...my hat is off to you! You go girl! For all you women that are like me and have new mommy curves, and a little more cushion for the pushin' but haven't figured out how to own your new body yet....I'm right there with you.  The things I realize I need to be proud of is the fact that I grew two human beings safely inside my body. The fact that their little angel faces are here because they were created out of love between me and my husband. The fact that I get this great opportunity to stay home with my children and care for them myself and not have a babysitter. The fact that at least one parent (being me) is here to see their first anything and report back to daddy and share in such a wonderful moment.  My stretchmarks, love handles, extra weight  should not be seen in a negative light, but serve as reminders of how strong of a woman I am to have housed and birthed two such extraordinary children...badges of honor of the battle I survived (the battle that is pregnancy and childbirth). 

The title "Stay at home mom" needs to be announced with pride! Which leads me to my last thought of the day. I've had plenty of people ask me what I do for a living... and I always reply, "I'm a stay at home mom". The response I get is... "oh that's great that you don't have to work!" Well, sorry to say, and if I've opened a can of worms...so be it., BEING A STAY AT HOME MOM IS A FULL TIME JOB! I may not clock in or out, I may not get my two 15's and a 30 min break, I may not get a paycheck...but stay at home mommy's are on the job 24-7! No breaks, no sick days, no vacations! It is a job shaping and enriching the lives of innocent human beings. Blank canvases with no knowledge of the outside world. It is your duty to help guide them (and their fathers too of course!) and teach them how to be decent people that will do good and have a good heart.  Never ever say to someone... "Oh, I'm just a stay at home mom"  I admit I have caught myself saying this before... but not anymore! It is a great job to have and it is my honor to have that title!

In closing...I'm sorry if I have rambled... or maybe not made much sense at times. I'm sorry if I have offended anyone, but my thoughts are not meant to offend. They are just my opinions and thoughts on mother hood in general.  I would love to hear if any of you have any feedback or thoughts you would like to share.  As mommies we are all in this together. We are beautiful, strong, amazing creatures and we should all hold ourselves in the highest regard! I have much much more to say and share but that will have to be saved for another day. Mommyhood awaits! ♥


  1. Hey there lady!

    Well said blog, my friend! I'm glad you decided to start one up. Knowing what I know about you (which, I guess isn't that much but still) I am very surprised about the image thing. When I first met you I think the thing that surprised me the most was just how much love there is in your family. I don't remember practically any of my childhood (I was out on my own world, apparently), but I think that the way you both are with your kids makes you so incredibly beautiful. I mean the whole thing. And honestly, I know you're aware of that. And being girls we know that there's always the desire to look better, thinner, better skin whatever. The first thought I had when I met you certainly was not "Mary is ugly." The first thought was "Mary's an awesome mom" and if that isn't true beauty then I dunno what is.

    As for the blog itself: I've been blogging for about 2ish years now and I can tell you, it's very therapeutic. So it's really great that you're starting one up. Get some pictures up here, though, girlie! I wanna see your kids more!

    Which reminds me...if ever you need a babysitter so you and the hubs can go on a date, call me and Nick. Seriously. Stay out as late as you want, get a hotel room...lol whatever! Take a break once in a while. That's what your friends are for. Put us to work! We don't have many obligations the way you do, so take advantage of our freedom. =)

    Anyway, best of luck with the blog! Do this for yourself too. I know a lot of it is about mommyhood and your children, but remember to sneak a little time for yourself in there occasionally.


  2. Hey!

    Thanks so much for everything you said. That's really sweet! I do love my family so much...and even though it can be pretty trying being a mom...they are my world. And I'm glad I don't just look like a bitchy nagging mom. LOL! I will definitely take you guys up on babysitting. We don't get out nearly enough
    because it's hard to find someone we trust. My kids love you!

    One of the reasons I started this blog is for me. I love to write...and though it may not be entirely polished, it's one outlet I have that I absolutely love. So, I decided to blog about my thoughts, experiences, etc as a creative outlet. I agree, it is very therapeutic (even though I only have on entry so far). It's nice to get things off my mind. Lord knows I've got way too much going on in there. :o)

    I did add some pics to the blog. It's a work in progress so bare with me. :o) Once I Figure more things out I'm sure I'll play around with it and get a little more creative. Thanks again for the feedback and all the kind words. I really appreciate it. I really do like you and we need to try to get to know each other better. Maybe we should get the girls together and do a girls night or something...

    Talk to you soon