My tattoos tell MY story

I read a post on a site called Cafemom that was titled: "Women with tattoos are bad moms". I clicked on the post and proceeded to read it. This woman has tattoos and at the time she was pregnant. An older lady had the nerve to come up to her in a grocery store and say that women covered in that "garbage" are bad mothers. I tell ya, some people really have the balls to say such a hateful thing like that.  I personally take major offense to this because I have a ton of tattoos! I plan on getting more.  Does this make me a bad mother? ABSOLUTELY NOT!

If some people actually cared to ask, they would know that a lot of people's tattoos tell a story.  Even if some of the tattoos don't mean anything in particular... they are still an expression of that person. The collection of tattoos on their body (or perhaps just one if that's the case) tells THEIR story. Each tattoo was chosen and placed on their body as a certain representation of their personality. There are fun, cute, humorous, and dark tattoos. (and many more) Each tattoo I chose to put on my body is a little slice of me. It expresses the many sides there are, and it isn't so cut and dry either. I don't mean look at each tattoo for what they are and say..."oh she has a skull, so she must like skulls or be a Satan worshiper." LOL! Some tattoos we have can express a slice of us by the manner in which they were chosen. Perhaps, someone may have chosen a certain tattoo on a whim one day. This could say that they are spontaneous and carefree! :o) This is just an example. I'm not saying this is true for everyone.  All I'm saying is, don't judge a book by it's cover....especially if you only look at the ink.

It's funny because it's like the left side of my body has tattoos that are family related. The right side has tattoos that I just like!  I have my son's name on my arm (soon to get my daughter's) I have a fairy with stars around her that represent my kids, me, and my husband. I have some tattoos on my back, the back of my neck, leg, finger, both arms, foot, wrist.... WOW! Lock me up! Call DCFS! I'm a horrible human being!!!  :o)

Whenever I see a woman with tattoos and she is also a mother...the last thing on my mind is that she must be a horrible mother. I'm fascinated by them. In fact, I may seem rude because I stare. I love the way they look. I love the different types there are. Black and gray. Color.What they mean. I felt this way about tattoos even before I had any. What's wrong with self expression?

A tattoo to me, is no different than changing your hair color, putting on make up, or changing your nail polish.  That's like me going up to a complete stranger and say," Excuse me, but women who wear that shade of lipstick are hookers."  I have had some looks from people (and I'm sure I still get them). I noticed it when I was pregnant too. I just let them look! My husband has done most of my tattoos, so they can admire his work all they want. :o) 

Who are you to judge someone based on how they look?   It's nice to know that in the year 2010 we are still judging and discriminating. Sure glad we have come such a long long way. I know it's hard, but we need to try not to let other people's ignorance offend us. (even though I stated above that I do take offense to this statement...what can I say, I'm a work in progress!) . Before I close this "rant" I wanted to share a poem that I wrote expressing the TRUE definition of what a mother is to me...Tattoos and all! ♥

My definition of a Mother

She banishes the monsters under the bed,

And softly places a goodnight kiss upon my head.

She holds my hand when I cross the street,

And helps me tie the shoes on my feet.

She lends an ear when the going gets tough.

She lets me know that I AM good enough!

She encourages me and showers me with praise.

She still manages to smile even on her bad days.

With her, I always know I'm protected and loved.

This "she" is my Mother I so fondly speak of.

Random thoughts of a stay at home mom

I'm not quite sure how to start since this is my first time blogging. Normally, I think I'll just recount the days events (with two kids that can get pretty interesting at times) and bring up some random thoughts / issues that come to mind. Things that stay at home moms... or really all moms go through, think, feel, are ashamed of, proud of etc.   This is my first blog ever so please bare with me. So, here it goes....welcome to the "Adventures in Mommyhood"

One thing I would like to bring up is the self esteem of a stay at home mom. People like myself, and other moms that I have spoken to. I used to have a lot of confidence ... or superficial confidence perhaps? I had the time to do my hair and make up. I had the money to shop for new clothes and shoes ALL THE TIME!  I could go into a store and pick out a small or extra small shirt and a pair of size 2 pants.,..not try them on, purchase them, and be on my way knowing that the items I have just selected will do just fine and look AWESOME on me!  Well friends, when I entered the land of Mommyhood.... all of that "superficial confidence" is GONE! Now, it's comfy yoga pants, nice baggy shirt that I don't mind if baby puke gets on it, air dried crazy hair that will end up on the top of my head by days end... and a bare face without a stitch of makeup. Not to mention the 30 pounds I've lovingly collected along my 4 year journey in this beautiful land that is mommyhood! 

I say superficial confidence because along the way since becoming a mother, I realize that there are more important things in life then a size 2 waist... all the nicest clothes, make up etc. These things made me feel good but only on the outside. When you strip it all down and you are just bare naked, vulnerable you... you tend to do some soul searching and find the more important things in life... and the things that SHOULD give you all the confidence in the world.  Some people have the luxury of having it all... everything for yourself and your children. I am not bashing those women in any way. I am just speaking of my own experience and of other moms in my situation. When money is tight, and you have to decide between things you WANT for yourself, and things you NEED to get for your children/family, there's no argument. The babies come first! Mommy will have to wait. That doesn't mean that a mom doesn't DESERVE to treat herself every once in a while to a nice shade of lipstick, or a cute new top. When you don't have the means to "treat" yourself EVERYDAY to the things you once took for granted... they become more of a real TREAT...a reward if you will for all of your hard work and sacrifices that go along with the role of mommy. 

I am still working on trying to find my inner confidence in this new mommy body I have acquired. I still ask my husband everyday if he still thinks I'm pretty if I don't wear make up or straighten my hair all the time. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful husband who makes sure to tell me everyday how beautiful I am, and shower me with affection!  A lot of women have these insecurities because of a certain image women are supposed to uphold to. Celebrity women aren't doing us regular women any favors! For all of you moms that are back in your pre baby shape...my hat is off to you! You go girl! For all you women that are like me and have new mommy curves, and a little more cushion for the pushin' but haven't figured out how to own your new body yet....I'm right there with you.  The things I realize I need to be proud of is the fact that I grew two human beings safely inside my body. The fact that their little angel faces are here because they were created out of love between me and my husband. The fact that I get this great opportunity to stay home with my children and care for them myself and not have a babysitter. The fact that at least one parent (being me) is here to see their first anything and report back to daddy and share in such a wonderful moment.  My stretchmarks, love handles, extra weight  should not be seen in a negative light, but serve as reminders of how strong of a woman I am to have housed and birthed two such extraordinary children...badges of honor of the battle I survived (the battle that is pregnancy and childbirth). 

The title "Stay at home mom" needs to be announced with pride! Which leads me to my last thought of the day. I've had plenty of people ask me what I do for a living... and I always reply, "I'm a stay at home mom". The response I get is... "oh that's great that you don't have to work!" Well, sorry to say, and if I've opened a can of worms...so be it., BEING A STAY AT HOME MOM IS A FULL TIME JOB! I may not clock in or out, I may not get my two 15's and a 30 min break, I may not get a paycheck...but stay at home mommy's are on the job 24-7! No breaks, no sick days, no vacations! It is a job shaping and enriching the lives of innocent human beings. Blank canvases with no knowledge of the outside world. It is your duty to help guide them (and their fathers too of course!) and teach them how to be decent people that will do good and have a good heart.  Never ever say to someone... "Oh, I'm just a stay at home mom"  I admit I have caught myself saying this before... but not anymore! It is a great job to have and it is my honor to have that title!

In closing...I'm sorry if I have rambled... or maybe not made much sense at times. I'm sorry if I have offended anyone, but my thoughts are not meant to offend. They are just my opinions and thoughts on mother hood in general.  I would love to hear if any of you have any feedback or thoughts you would like to share.  As mommies we are all in this together. We are beautiful, strong, amazing creatures and we should all hold ourselves in the highest regard! I have much much more to say and share but that will have to be saved for another day. Mommyhood awaits! ♥